One Year On

I sat in the Green Room watching the 72-inch monitor suspended on the far wall, marveling at how lifelike the 3D images of the show were.  There was the handsome Euan McCloud and the beautiful Bonnie McRae, host and hostess of the "Show-n-Tell Show," interviewing Morph Wonderson, star of the long-running hit TV series "Watch My Dog."  They were just wrapping up the segment before going to a break, and I was certain a crew member would soon come to collect me.  I wasn't nervous at all because I'd been running on pure adrenaline ever since my early-out from Paso del Norte.  The phenomenal success of my book, Utomepia, just served to stoke the fire.  Things were rolling forward, gathering momentum, just as Hortensia predicted they would.

The door opened and a young woman whose complexion was entirely too white said, "They want you on the set now."

I followed her down a narrow hallway, through an opened double door and onto a stage behind a heavy, red-velvet curtain.  A makeup man dabbed a blotter beneath each of my cheekbones as I listened to the chattering murmur of the live audience.  All the while the near-albino young woman kept hold of my wrist as if I were a fun-seeking puppy who might bolt at any moment. When the makeup man was finished, the woman led me nearer the left-hand side of the curtain.

The band's jazzy rendition of "Reading a Book" signaled that the show was coming back from break.  A second later I heard Bonnie say, "Welcome back.  Well, we have a huge surprise for you in our Arts and Entertainment segment today, the author of this month's best-selling dystopian novel, Utomepia, Lee Rowe."

The near-albino practically shoved me forward, and I emerged from behind the curtain to a rousing applause from the audience.  Euan met me several paces from the couch, and I marveled at his size.  He was much larger than he appeared on TV, a good three inches taller than me.  He was still shaking my hand as I stepped onto the platform and crossed to greet Bonnie.  Early in her career she had been renowned for her legs--best in the business--and had been affectionately dubbed the "Good Gams Girl."  I couldn't help but notice, as I sat on the couch directly across from her, that they were still gorgeous.  She crossed them slowly beneath her form-fitting sequined electric-blue dress.

"So good to meet you at last, Lee," she said.

"Yes," said Euan.

"Good to be here."

Bonnie said, "Lee, yours is a fascinating story regarding how this book--the one we're all so much a part of now--came to be.  As I understand it you were on the run, trying your best to avoid writing it.  Is that correct?"

"Yes, Bonnie.  Like many people--perhaps some in your audience here--I was reluctant to fall in line.  I was, in fact, something of a rebel when it came to book writing."

"Something of a rebel?" Euan said, repeating the phrase for emphasis, looking at the audience to prompt laughter.  "You were captured near Mexico, sentenced to two years hard writing at the federal agententiary in Ciudad Juarez, Texas, and you escaped custody when the van transporting you to Paso del Norte crashed in the desert.  You were then befriended by several women who ultimately turned you over to the authorities, and you were incarcerated in West Texas."

"That pretty much sums it up, Euan."

Bonnie said, "You've managed to incorporate so much of those events into the novel, Lee, one has to wonder how much of it is autobiography and how much pure fiction."

"Well, Bonnie, we're all aware of the writing tip 'write what you know.'  I've written what I know.  What more can I say?"

"And good writing it is," Euon said, "number one on the Sinaloa Times' best-seller list for four weeks in a row now."

"AND," Bonnie said, squealing with practiced delight, "it's been made into a movie."

"That's right, Bonnie, a film starring two of America's best actors:  Brick Hoven and Xochitl de la O."

Turning to the audience, Bonnie said, "We have a big treat for you today:  a clip from the movie, which is called 'Freedom Fugitive.'  Can you tell us what we're going to see, Lee?"

"I believe this is a scene from the second half of the movie, when the Brick Hoven character is about to exact revenge on the people who betrayed him."

"Let's watch," she said.

The lights on the set dimmed, the red-velvet curtains slid apart, and the video began to play on an ocean-liner-sized screen at the back of the studio.  It was the scene in the small jail, where Hoven had the two women--Dolly and her friend, Mindy--Dolly's boss, Mr. Seelion, and Sheriff Buford locked together in the narrow cell.  Hoven pulled a wooden chair within five feet of the cell door.  On the seat were five sticks of dynamite duct-taped together, their fuses twisted into one, like braided hair.  Hoven removed an old Zippo cigarette lighter from his jeans pocket, flipped the cover open and snapped down on the thumb wheel, sparking the flame into life.  He looked at his prisoners before touching the flame to the fuse.

"You'll never get away with this," Buford said.  "They'll hunt you down and kill you like a rabid dog."

"Stop kidding yourself, Sheriff.  If I put this scene in a sequel and the sequel sells big, nobody will ever care what happened to you."

Dolly said, "Please, hun.  We didn't mean to do you wrong.  We were just being selfish, like most people these days.  But if you feel you must kill people to get revenge, kill these three and let me go.  I can make you happy.  You KNOW I can make you happy."

Hoven lit the fuse, and while the spark began its slow descent toward the sticks of dynamite he smiled at the prisoners, thoroughly savoring the look of anguished panic in their eyes.

"Adios, scum," he said, exiting the jail.

A black Harley Davidson hog waited out front, a monocycle decorated with orange flames painted along the gas tank.  The hog roared to life when Hoven started it, and he barreled down the main street of the small town just before the jail blew to smithereens.

As the video faded out on the screen, and the house lights slowly went up, there was raucous applause from the audience.  Bonnie McRae clapped enthusiastically.

She said, "How very exciting."

"Exciting, yes," Euan said.

"Thank you," I said.  "Thank you."

"There was mention in the movie about a sequel," Bonnie said.  "Are you planning a sequel?"

"I'm working on one right now."

Euan said, "Good stuff."

"I want to thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to appear on the 'Show-n-Tell Show,'" Bonnie said.

"Yes, thank you," Euan said.

"It was my pleasure."

I shook his hand as I stood,  When I crossed to Bonnie and shook her hand she pressed a piece of paper into my palm.  Then she gave me a huge hug, her perfume a powerful drug that literally made me feel lightheaded.  Whispering into my ear, she said, "Call me.  I want to jump your bones."

When I backed away I struggled to keep the excitement off my face.  But as I retraced my steps toward the Green Room I couldn't help but fantasize about a future tryst with the vivacious Bonnie McRae.

Hortensia was waiting for me outside the studio.  She had witnessed my interaction with Bonnie from the audience.

"What the hell was that about?" she said.

"What was what about?"

"Don't think I didn't see the way she threw herself at you."

"She throws herself at everybody like that.  Don't let your imagination run wild."

"Just be very careful.  If you see her again it could result in dire consequences."

During the limousine ride back to the hotel, while Hortensia distractedly surveyed the passing landscape, I slipped the note Bonnie had passed to me into my mouth and chewed inconspicuously, swallowing the paper after a few minutes.  I could only hope when I retrieved it later I'd find that it had been penned in indelible ink.